Thursday, August 31, 2006

Someone is gonna die and it aint me

This is gonna be one hellofa post..If you are faint of heart or don't care much to read curse words, get the hell outta here..mmkayy?

first off I worked 0800-1600 yesterday for u jerk off s who don't know military time that's 8am till 4pm. Anyhoo, I go put in my 8 hours of hard labor, booked in a gent who I just released Friday..What a dumb ass..Not even out a damn week and he is back. I must be that good looking..They keep coming back for more.

Then I come home and have about 3 hours worth of cleaning. Nothing like coming home and cleaning toys off my living room floor just so I can walk thru the room I pay $1,000 a month to the bank so I can hang my coat here, and I cant walk thru when I get home.

Then after I got dinner ready I had to take Blondie Bee to her school for her open house and so she can meet her teacher..Now take a good look at this face again people.

I took this gal here to meet her teacher for the first time. The teacher says "Hi Blondie, im Mrs.loveulongtime nice to meet you sweety"

What does my daughter/spawn of satan do? She gives her this evil look and says nothing.

I tell the teacher...oh she is just shy

Then her best little friend from kindergarten is in her class...She came running up..Blondie ignored her. The little boy who sits next to her was sitting in his chair and his mom says " this is so and so..He is gonna sit by you this year"



I always thought she was just shy. But I am seeing early detections of a hidden bitch inside of her. I mean she comes by it honestly, she truly does, but I was at least 5th grade before I started coping a attitude with my damn teacher...damn

Then we are suppose to sign up for one of the class parties they have. I always choose Christmas. I was the first one to sign up for that holiday. Then after I read the sheet it says if you sign it first your the chair person for that holiday. Holy sh*t.

Hope the tots don't mind rum spiked eggnog and burned sugar cookies...Ho Ho freaking Ho..That's my specialty.

Moving on....

I get home and my mom informs me that my son....the one who said he lost all his coolness when he got a bad haircut yesterday.....had a sign out on the corner and sat there...Do you know what his sign read?..Of course you don't, I will tell you..

will play yo-gi-o for free
will teach u to play for $5

what the hell?


Then on my way home from the school I get behind a golf cart. Golf carts in this town is kind of flies on a dung ball...They are all over.

Since when is this proper vehicle transportation for the streets? They don't go more than 5 miles an hour and have no tail lights...

what the hell?

and yet I get pulled over for going a touch over said posted speed limit. And then have to pay a 130 ticket for a fundraising effort cause the next town over cant balance their damn budget, so they target moms in their mini vans cruising at an altitude of57 miles per hour in a 55 zone...

I need a xantex, followed by a chaser of something that contains rubbing alcohol and gasoline.

Good day

Bee Real

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

After the rain

Well Boo had a good birthday. I will have a slide show presentaion at the end of this delightful post.

some things that occurred last couple days. My 9 year old son who has been scared to death of learning how to ride a bike because its just way too dangerous, learned how to ride Blondie Bees bike Monday. That boy was out in the rain for 2 hours, came in and said he needed to show me something. Then he got on Blondies bike and took off like grease lighting. Now they are fighting over her bike. Good Lord this is just what I needed to deal with. My son wanting to ride a pink bike with seashells and mermaids on it. Good God.

He got a hair cut and was not happy. And I don't blame him..Looks like a two year old chopped his bangs up. That's what you get when your so cheap you go to Fantastic Sams for a 6.99 hair chopping. He said his coolness was left on the floor of the barber shop and now he just looks like an idiot. I agreed.

When my Boo got up on her birthday she runs up to my bed and loudly proclaims..momma it my birtday. Happy birtday me....

yes Boo, but technically it doesn't start till around 3:31 pm, get your ass back to bed sweetie..

She ripped her gifts open with glee, and proudly threw all clothing on the floor. Ungrateful lil sucker she is.

well without further udo...Click this for the slide show....

This is the first time I have had a three year old without being knocked up or not having a newborn. Feels damn good too.

Oh and she was peeing in her Dora underwear again. I told her Dora cant breath if she is whizzing on her head. So she told me Dora is swimming.

clever gal I got there folks. 100% pure grade there.

Bee Real

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

No Matter What!

I could tell you about the inmate who was hoarding her meds and trying to sell them to other inmates, or I could tell you how the same inmate was hoarding razors. Or I could tell you bout how Blondie Bee refused to play with her little girl friend but jumped up when Ugly Kid came to the door. I am gonna castrate that boy before too long, just to keep my bases covered.

But today I am gonna talk about something else. You see on August 29th something happen to me. It was three years ago this year. I wont say it was life threatening per say, but damn close...This is what happen on August 29th 3 years ago..

Yes folks that is my Boo Bee the day I pushed her from my loins. She is now 3 and she is still that cute.

My Boo Bee is an odd sort. She likes bending over when she is nekkid and spread her butt cheeks apart and say " momma I fartin...hahahahaha"

She likes to say " momma I don ike u"

or " momma peeeeeeeeeease can I go ou-side"

I don't think she can say the letter T to come think of it..Remember folks she is my retard. But she is a happy retard. And who doesn't like a happy retard?

My Boo likes clouds. She likes suckers. She likes any reason to be nekkid, but she would rather keep her shoes and socks on if u will let her.

This past year she has grown like weed. She can now reach knives, apples off the counter, get suckers from the shelve and answer the phone.

although when she answers the phone she says " ha-wo" then she hangs it up. Which is fine by me because I dont like talking on the phone anyway. You put her on with a telemarkerter and they wont be calling back..I guarantee it.

She is learning how to ride a bike, she hates holding my hand, but she likes to have someone lay in bed and cuddle with her at night.

She no longer needs a sippy cup, she also needs no help eating. She can brush her teeth alone, and wash her hands with no help. She likes to wash her own hair and she likes to comb her own hair.

She does not need me for much of anything anymore.

She likes to wear her " simming soup" even if she isn't swimming..

She likes to throw rocks and watch clouds in the sky.

But she still cant wipe her own ass...

Happy Birthday Boo Bear.....

Bee Real

Friday, August 25, 2006

Black cat nine lives

There is nothing more degrading then begging a nearly three year old to take a crap or whizzle in the crapper. My other bees were bribed by stickers. Not this kid, she wants M&M's. She drives a hard bargain. Before this terrible nightmare is concluded, I am afraid she will be obese and have high cholesterol. But damnit, she will be pooing in the confines of the porcelain God by golly.

It seems Boo Bee is not the only creature in my hive with bathroom woes. My nice puddy tat who I have had for nearly six years is taking to whizzing in the sitting room that leads to my bedroom. WHY?...I have no bloody clue. She craps in her box, and pees on my freaking floor. I steam clean it, tell her bad kitty and she goes about her business peeing all over my floor again. And I cant even keep her from going up there, because there is no door...Our stairs lead right up to it, and our bedroom door is after the sitting area. If this keeps up I will do one of 3 things.

1. Let the folks at the Chinese joint up town make a fair bid for her.

B. Make her wear a diaper

3. Kill her.

I am not sure which way I am leaning towards. She has NEVER had an issue ever. She is the best cat. She catches bats, comes to tell me when the kids are misbehaving,
and she likes to cuddle at night. She also beats the living tar out of the dog when she knows the dog is getting on my nerves. My cat is like me, she is a bad ass. I love her. But I wont keep her if she keeps up this bathroom habits. I don't know why she is doing it, or why she even started, but I wont let it go on anymore. I am tired of it.

Pretty soon if these two creatures don't both start using their litter boxes I am sending them out on the open yonder together. Just a baby and her cat, hitting the open trail looking for spots to take a leak or a poo..Under rocks, in your child's sandbox, or where ever the mood strikes them...

If you should see them pooing or lifting a leg in your yard, don't be to harsh, just go out and shoo them away like you would a raccoon or a farm mouse.

Might need to set traps for them, I don't know...Maybe leave a small bowl of milk and some cherrios for them to eat, I am sure the food supply I send them out the door with wont last them a block.

My baby likes spaghetti, that's her favorite thing to eat, so don't leave that out or she will never go away.

My cat fancys nine lives, again, maybe leave her some Whiskas, she will eat it, but wont stick around long cuz she doesn't care for the fake fish taste. My girls have very expensive taste. My cat likes a can of tuna sometimes, again don't leave this or they wont leave. Before you know it they will be living in your garage or shed, and there will a corner that they use for a rest room. Might need to take your shovel out daily and clear out the stench from their piles of dung.

My baby will be wearing comfortable walking shoes, so don't worry about that. They also light up when she steps, so night walking will be safe so don't worry. My cat , well I may make her some kitty booties. To keep her paws from getting sore from all the walking.

Anyhoo, if u see them, its best to just ignore them...Kind of like a stray puppy u may see, if u make eye contact with it the bastard follows u home and next thing u know you are paying 300 bucks to have him castrated and u have named him Harold and u let him drink from your toilet.

The weekend is upon us, don't drink and dive, don't free base on the court house lawn and expect NOT to be arrested..yes I have seen it happen...and keep your clothes on when out of doors...Unless your on fire.

Bee Real

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Love and affection

I did the noble and dreaded deed of taking my 9 year old Butch Bee school clothes shopping. I can only take one kid at a time, for the simple reason I want to kill them all if I take them out of the hive together. I mean literally kill them. I would line them up under my little dodge caravan and hit them like a squirrel running giddy across the road. Is that too harsh?...Well if u have ever tried shopping with 3 kids at the same time, you would know this is a mild punishment.

My son is set for school. I spent only about 200 bucks on him. Boys are so easy to please. Take them to Old Navy or to Gap and they find what they want, and that's the end of it. We had to make a token stop at Target. I like buying socks and underwear there. I don't know why. He claimed he needed a new backpack. This kid has about 3 of them. The one he picked out was 60 bucks. 60 damn bucks for a stinking backpack. Now in my day I could go to Big Wheel and get a back pack for like 8 dollars. Came complete with a Trapper Keeper and a Michael Jackson notepad. Hell yes! Today the back packs come with nothing but a high price tag. My mom wondered if they were lined in gold. We looked. They aren't.

I am a people watcher. I have been all my life. I don't like being social ,I would rather stand on the side and make fun of the people I see. Its better for my pysci that way.

I notice a trend. A Horrid trend. Do you ever notice that men like to wear their pants below there gut. Like the squeeze into a size say 32 when they really where a 52. Why don't men buy pants that fit around the waist? Do they not realize how foolish this looks? Us women, we like to try and hide our mid section, so we buy pants that fit so tight around the mid section , we cant breath. Why do we do this?..Makes the tummy look flatter. Think about it, have you ever seen a woman wear a pair of slacks, trousers, jeans or whathaveyou with her gut hanging over the top of the pants? It does not happen. I think men need to take a lesson from us ladies and wear clothes that fit. Stop living in the world that you think you still wear the same size you did in high school. You don't. Go out and buy the husky pants, its ok...Cover up the beer belly fellas, you will look leaner, and cleaner and well kept. Its just a bit of fashion advice from me to you....

Next week is Blondie Bees turn. Lord have mercy on me that day.

I bought my Boo Bee some Dora underwear. I want her to stop peeing in a diaper and start whizzing in the crapper like the rest of us. Well most of us anyway. She will be 3 next Tuesday. This is a crying shame. I am lazy and there is no reason why she isnt wiping her own ass. Starting in the morning this all going to change.

I have a question . Blondie bees little friend who is going into second grade has her own cell phone. Is this normal? My parents did not even allow me to call friends till damn near 6th grade. Are my kids social outcasts because I am not gonna spend money on cell phones for them to lose? What damn 6 or 7 year old needs her OWN cell phone?

So these are my delimas for this day in history.

*Guys wear your pants around your waist, not below it.
*Back pack makers don't sell 60 dollar backpacks unless a kid comes for free with it
*don't let your small kids have cell phones, they will lose it or possibly order a pizza with it.

Bee Real

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Marrying Kind..part B

so I figured I would delve into other people I wanted to marry that I did not mention..And I will also show you who I would go steady with today .....ya happy suzie?. So back in the day it was all about looks....Here is a glimpse of my teenage years and who I wanted to rock steady with..

Which one your asking?....All of them. Well I only thought two were hot, but I was going to settle for any of them. My boyfriend at this time looked very similar to the lad on the bottom left. He would sing those damn New Kid songs to me all the time. When I think about it, makes me laugh so hard I am trickling again.

I also forgot about this rocker I wanted to marry. And I use the term rocker very loosely folks...I mean its barley hanging by a shred of rocking dignity.

At the time he was soooo cute and yummy. Although there was no real talent in the rock band..But dang he was cute. Where are they now you ask?..Hell if I know..

But as far as who I find yummy today, and think I would look great on the arm of, it goes as follows..

I believe he needs no explaining....Am I right people?

Then this guy.....He looks like good husband material..Maybe not a bad boy like I find very hot, but he will do just fine..

And of course there is still this guy....

Now mind you..These are my choices if Mr Shaky should turn to stone, get lost on his way home from work, run away with the gypsies, become a lounge singer, or die of natural causes orwhathaveyou....

but really looks isn't what I should be concerned with. At this stage in my life I need a sugar daddy, or financial security if you will.....So I have to get passed the face and look more toward the wallet...

So my next choice is this guy..

he has a few things NOT going for him.....The tie, the hair, the face, and the name Bill.

But he has one very big important thing going for him...

his wallet.

Now I know that certain Native Americans get money for sitting in jail. Making more money killing people and smoking dope then I do working at the jail..So it got me thinking, I need to find me an Indian. I have never found them that attractive, that is until I spotted this honey..

He is cute, am I right? My luck I would get stuck with something along these lines..

I think I would look good on the arm of any of these men. I am more shooting for the last one, its more realistic. But this guy must not belong to a tribe with funds, or I would hope to God he would of seen a dentist.

Just picture me with any of them...

So there you have it....This is a more updated version of what I am looking for in a man, should something happen to Mr shaky..Be it a house falls on him, his eyes get swollen shut, he decides to be a female, or decides to be a folk singer...Or heaven forbid...A preacher.

Oh crap..Looks like I am in the running boys.....

Bee Real

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

She drives me crazy

Do you want to know something else that has been on my mind since my trip? You know how they say the poor folks in Asia make about 10 cents a day making all the crap we sell at Walmart and such? Well on that 10 cents a day, how do these Asian folks afford to travel? I swear I saw thousands of them at the airports I meandered thru. I tried speaking to several, testing the waters on whether they were spoke English or not. None of them did. So how on the pennies they make a day, can they afford to travel so much?

Also something else, I see them pick their noses, I mean they act as though they have a treasure map up there, I make eye contact with them, and they still keep digging. Why? Do they not understand that in our country that is ok behavior if your in kindergarten? I don't get it. And they have weird smelling breath. Is that from all the pussy cats and puppies they consume there?

Today at the jail the inmates were in rare form. I think some of them had missed me. I had one gal ask for some TP, so I went and got the roll and went to the cell door and said " who needed this? Better come get it"

Not one of them moved. Then I said" I am counting to three, if noone comes to this door to pick it up, its going."

I guess the gal who wanted it did not feel like getting her lazy ass out of bed. She gets up and says "I don't know why you couldn't just set it on the table."

To which I told her " why cant you get up and get it? I don't need it..And this isn't The Ritz and I am not your damn servant."

She was mad. And I did not give a rip.

You want to know something else that drives me crazy? Most of the ladies in our county lock up are Indians. Native Americans if you will. All these girls make more money sitting in jail then I do working a 12 hour shift. They get paid money every two weeks just because they are Indians or part Indian. One gal makes about 4,000 a month just because she is an Indian. How is this fair? I was obviously born into the wrong ethnic group. I am sure if I dig far enough maybe I can find an ancestor that maybe was part Indian. What are the odds of that do you think?

Is this all because we stole their land?

They can have it back. I hate knowing that a gal in jail for drug charges or second degree murder is making more money sitting in the county slammer then I am working there.


I get to work another 12 hour shift on Tuesday, then I am off until Saturday.. My house is a mess, my bees are un-ruley, my house is amess......yadda, yadda, yadda..

I can see I need to go find me a boy toy who is a full blooded Indian and doesn't mind a fat American lady with 3 kids to live off him...Only in the event that Mr Shaky dies..Of natural causes orwhathaveyou.

Bee Real

Monday, August 21, 2006

Baby im a star

So for those of you who were on my last will and testimate, sucks to be you cuz ole Bossy made it back. For those of you who are on tap for next time I leave....I wish you the best of luck .

My trip was nice. Although I had some lipgloss confiscated. Things you can not bring on a plane..Jelly donuts or cream filled I did not have the donuts but some folks did, gel bras, water or any liquid, no bombs or guns.....Sorry folks, hate to wreck your fun.

Why is it everytime I am on a plane the one person with a flatulance disorder sits by me? I had all sorts of unnatural fumes blown my way. I tried like hell to hold my breathe, but I can only live so long with no air.

At one point on the way down, the air pressure got really wired. My eyes hurt, they felt like they were going to bust out of my skull. I had a weird tingling in one, and the other felt like a ticking time bomb. Thanks to the pressure build up, I fear I have a case of glaucoma now....thanks bastards.

Saturday night my best friend from High School and I went to the local place where you can bowl, eat, and drink heavily. We sat around there till well after midnight talking about what fools we were back in the day. We agreed that all our boyfriends/sleeping buddies were all losers. And she did not have any trouble reminding this future preachers wife what a skank she once was....ahh the good ole days..Now I am a one man skank, I am reformed.

Ladies, have you ever had to pee so bad that when you finally sit down to let it rip, you are parked there damn near 5-8 minutes waiting for it all to drain?...At one point you think your done, you wipe, you go to stand up, and I will be damned if more pee isn't waiting in the wings to be let free. It trickles down your leg and you sit back down because there is another round coming. Man I hate that.

Well I hope all of you had a productive week and a great weekend. I am going to need a day or two to recover from my journey.

I will be around tonight to check on everyone, I wont be around much Monday morning and afternoon, I have a thing called a job and they are expecting me to show up at 6am. Then to top that off, they are expecting me to stay till 6pm.

I hate it when people expect way too much out of me.

Bee Real

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The marrying kind

I thought I would do a fun lil post to leave you with before I go. Since I work all day Wednesday and then fly off early Thursday morning, I am giving you my last post now.

And it very well could be my last one...Remember..Gorilla's or pirates could take over my plane and that would not be good cuz I have no banana's nor treasure, so they would both be pissed right off.

I am going to give a little journey of the men I once wanted to marry and why I am glad some of them did not pan out..

First up I am taking you back to the early 1980's. I was about 8 or 9 and Thriller was bigger then God. No really...It was...Michael Jackson was IT. He was actually very handsome.
This is the one I wanted to marry and little dark babies with. I wanted to totally marry him and love him forever..

Then I started sensing he was odd. When he wore that damn white glove. ON ONE HAND..I knew he was wacko.And damn good thing I did not peruse it any further as this is what
he turned out looking like

Oh and he is a child molester to boot..Yes thank you Lord for unanswered prayers indeed...EEKS!

Then we move on to the mid 1980's....I then found a new man I wanted to court me. Another brother. I did not so much want to marry him, as to get freaky with him..Even as a pre teen I knew this man could show me a thing or two that I would never see anywhere else..

whether you love or hate him, it doesn't matter to me. Something about him makes me all warm and fuzzy inside..Yes its Prince...And I have his symbol tattooed on my back. Just be lucky I don't carry a vile of his blood around my neck....I will always have it for him. I know he is weird and all, but damn...I don't care.even to this day , lets say if Mr shaky dies, or whathaveyou....HIM...ME...ONE NIGHT...Oh yeah

As a kid I loved WHAM, but I did not find them very attractive..Really, I mean look at this..


...Why I did not see it then, I don't know. If I would of known or even thought about it, I would of never fallen in love with him when he went solo..

I mean look at this people..

Now this is hot people...And this..

Damn ..Sexy, just plain sexy. And his voice. He is truly a gifted singer. I mean whether you hate him, you have to give props on his voice. And look at him, he is hot..Sexy...

and weird....I mean hello George...stop hiding in bushes and asking men who walk by if they are gay...And please don't offer sexual favors to cops in rest areas..Dude you had me till that point. I did not mind you were gay, but man..Hiding in the bushes is just damn creepy..

George...Email me....

ok....Then I started liking a bit of metal...Well some metal. For years I wanted to marry this dude..

I mean look at him. He has a baby face, long curly locks...And a rockin body...I have loved Def Leppard since I was about 11. And this was the guy I was sweet on..I was once the president of the damn fan club....

Now today he looks ok. I mean he has aged well..But to me it looks like his face is a tad bit too tight....Now if I am wrong, Rick I am sorry..

So now I have resorted to the lead singer. I always thought he was sweet looking, but I could not get passed the damn mullet...

Now this is what he looks like. He has aged well. I mean he looks his age. He looks like a rugged rocker. Sexy is spewing all out of this guy..

So there you have it. I have went from child molesters, weird sex fienes, gay men, and rockers...A little something for everyone...Am I right people?

Now a days if Mr shaky were to um.....Die of natural causes....Or whathaveyou..

I would totally do any of them..Well not MJ...That's just creepy, plus he likes little Purti Rican boys anyway...

There is a little peak into my twisted mind and the way my pharmones sway. I am a toal wack job.

So who were any of your dream guy or girls?..I am intrigued..

well I wont be back until Sunday...Given if there are no snakes, nor hippos on the plane..I mean it could happen.

I will miss u guys. Stay safe, safe sober, stay clothed...Stay out of your county hotel.

Bee Real

oh if u missed The Will, check below to see if your name is there....

Monday, August 14, 2006

Rock u like a hurricane

edit at bottom

If you read my post for Saturday and are wondering where it went, well I went to edit it and I accidentally erased it. Good thing, its stuff I really should be talking about anyway, not yet anyway. I will just one day be gone, poof...And I will be rich. What can ya do? Just watch the writing credits of your favorite sitcoms or late night shows, look for my name..Bossy..Its getting closer my the millisecond, I can feel it. Or else I just peed myself, and in that case, I am blushing with embarrassment.

anyhoo, since I wont have much time between now and when I live Thursday I am doing my will now. In case of the unfortunate act of my demise while I am abroad, well in Michigan anyway...I want to leave a list of items to you. Now if I miss your name this time, I will catch you next time. Trust me, there will be plenty of chances for me dyeing between now and when I do die...But thanks for being so damn anxious for me to drop dead. Makes a girl feel warm and fuzzy.

Ok on to business.

For Suzie
I am leaving you my collection or un-used polish and samples from Mary Kay and Avon. Now if they are all dried out and not working, just pass them along to someone else. I will also leave you my orange sandals. You seem like the kind of gal who would maybe get some use out of them...

For Karin
I am leaving you some recipes. You are a chef. I am sure you don't have any recipes. I am leaving you my apron. It has never been worn. I don't want you getting dirty while your baking or cooking stuff. I will leave you Boo Bees crib. I mean you are planning on having kids aren't you?..Good Lord woman I hope so..

For Cliff
well you seem to shoot down any idea I have. So after I die you can just come to my house and pick out a knick knack or something..Knock yourself out..

For Jaime dawn
I am leaving you my collection of hats. I know how you fancy a good southern belle hat. And maybe some grass skirts? Ok maybe not...Also my bench. I got Mr shaky a bench one year for fathers day. I don't think he sits in it anymore, so its yours..And set it on your porch and when I come to haunt you, I will sit and sip tea with you..

For Britmum..(my jojo)
ok I leave you my 3 remaining cases of DP...I have about 5 cases of the berry kind, I hate it so its all yours. I will also leave you my dining room table since you say you fancy it. Although I am not sure what shaky and the bees a will eat off of now, maybe i should buy some tv trays huh? Just make sure no scorpions crawl across it, or that you dont sit on the bog with your knickers dangling at your ankles. My table has never seen the likes of either thing, and I would prefer to keep it that way.

For Peggy
Peggy has requested my sunglasses. Well she actually requested the bees and after much thought I have told her weekend stays will be ok, as long as she puts them to work on her farm scooping poop and fetching eggs. Boo bee is scared of chickens, so don't send her into the coop if you don't want you eggs stepped on from a toddler trying to make dodge outta there. She also is scared of horses and other big mammals. Better make her in charge of ringing the supper bell.

For The blog whore
I will leave you my jewelry. I don't have much as I am not that fancy. But take what you want and melt it down into something cool. Crap all my jewelry is plastic, I better think of something better...

How bout I leave you my rabbit. Your kids like pets. I just hope it doesn't end up like your turtles, your guinea pig or your fish...Crap, I might wanna rethink that one too. Let me get back to you on this. I want to leave you something special.

For ~Deb
Lets see. I leave you all my slutty shirts and a good recipe for hot wings. I will also leave you a coupon book for Hooters..Tell em Bossy sent you and you will get a free round of wings and beer.And you will be entered automatically in the wet tee shirt contest. Go prepared.

For Kendra
lets see, I will leave you a collection of music. I know you probably don't fancy my kind of music, but hey if I am dead maybe you can listen to it and think of me...

Ok, I am out of ideas right now. I know I missed a lot of you. My mind is overflowing worrying that I don't have enough stuff to go round. I am a hoarder. One of you can have my old yearbooks, cards from old boy friends, my prom dresses. I even have hundreds of letters from high school and some from middle school. I saved a bunch of that crap and have a whole chest filled with that stuff. Not sure why any of you would want that. So let me think a bit.

My Boo Bee was playing with her little fuzzy Teddy bear. She was saying things such as " hi bear, I your mommy, wanna play?"

and " momma dis is my bear, see? dis my bear.."

Then she threw it to the ground and stomped on it. I asked what she was doing.

This is what she said to me

" I kill it momma, my bear dead now"

Good Lord.

I have a child who wants to be a grafitity artist and likes watching the Hanes commercials with the ladies in there underwear and bras bouncing on big excersie balls.

I have a child who will play with dolls and then beat the crap out of a boy...Then pick me a flower, then beat the crap out of a boy...Then ride her bike down the street with her blonde hair blowing in the wind..To chase a boy to beat the crap out of him.

And I have one child who is the cutest most loving nearly 3 year old, who loves Dora and The Wiggels, she loves dancing and signing. Yet she is standing before me killing her bear and asking me if I have a band aide cuz now the bear is dead and she needs to stop the bleeding.

I am sitting on a gold mine here folks. I crap you not.

bee real

So here is more to my list, it seems you guys have no trouble letting me know I forgot you..


for Denise

You can have my Ipod and some pics from my Def Leppard can have the Joe with the mullet, and I will take the todays version...mmkay? that a deal..

For Michele

Lets see....I forgot what you I will leave you some leppard pics as well, and

my running shoes....with 3 boys your are gonna want to go out and run sometimes..

For choppzs,

Yes you get my house in Michigan, I forgot I willed that to you..My bad. Do what you will with it, just make sure you get the bitch out of my name..mmaky?

For Bav,

My little sweet candian Bav..I am going to leave you an old x-ray machine, so you can get off poop duti and see where that metal ball has gone..

For Jewl

all my old tapes of Days of Our Lives....I mean they go back to the early 80's....How is that?

For Aatank

Ok I am going to leave you a glossy signed, when I die it will be worth more..just like Elvis...and I will leave you a detailed letter of everything your dyeing to know that I cant say...mmkay?..only cuz we go way back..

Ok I have nothing left..noone wants my dog or my cat...any what I thought.

oh a side Blondie Bee is becoming awful chummy with Ugly Kid..I may have to put a hit out on the little bastard..

Bee Real

Friday, August 11, 2006


Question..if you eat hashbrowns, eggs and sausage for breakfast, then get the GI trots an hour later and lose all your money down the crapper, do I still have to count that for weight watchers points?

What, I do?..aww shucks......good thing that was my only meal that day huh? damn I always get screwed.

My 4 mile walk last night, pelicans again, but this time a swan tried beating the hell out of one...they must still have running bets on catching the fat girl..

damn birds anyway....and yes Suize, we have pelicans...good God woman..

they are all over, like flies on a dung ball..

I saw this over at Tees blog, its a tour of your home. I did it for lack of anything better. So grab a soda, or a 12 pack of Bud, whatever you want..

Kick back and watch it, its long..I did not do my whole house as that would take all day for you to view, and hey, who the hell has that kinda time?...I know I dont have that kinda time..gee wiz.

Well i get to work midnights tongiht, where I will sleep. Bastards..

They called and wanted me to work one day next week. I told them to call lazy girl.


ok, I have to put the link here and just hope you acctually go over and view it, for some reason it wont take on my post. I even had Tee herself try and do it, and she couldnt do it either...she thinks it may be some kind of glitch in my template, cuz it went fine on her account..

Thats the way Bossy's luck is.....the only luck I have is bad lucky, or Lucky Charms.

Well have a good weekend and here is the dang link to the page..

Bee Real

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Well it seems I am a hot commodity in the job market in good ole crapville county, today I had the hospital call me for a job I applied for 6 damn months ago. I said "sorry lady, Bossy is already taken..Not enough time nor enough money can make me take 3 stinking jobs, when all I wanted was one..Thanks, but no thanks..

Guess the word has not circulated that I am planning to retire soon..

Then I get a call today from my boss at the crazy house. I guess some of the gals are back from maternity leave and want their hours back, so I will not be on the schedule for September , I will just be "on call" which kind of pissed me off, because I was told when I hired that I would get all these hours and blah blah blah...Then BAM, I am an on call girl.......not a call ON call girl ..Me and lazy girl, since we were the last two hired..

I am working this weekend at the crazy house, the midnight shift. Guess what I am going to do. Instead of staying awake the whole 8 hours, Bossy is going to get paid for sleeping. Sorry folks, when you piss me off, I WILL sleep on the job. Sucks for you, but works really well for me, so thank you bitches..

So guess maybe I better re-think the hospital job...I might be in need of another job. If I am not out of the home working,then that means I am stuck here with kids. Gee gads that's enough for me to get a job..

um, hospital, yes its me Bossy, you called me yesterday for a job..I said go screw off, but I was only joking, I will come and be your blood drawer girl and shot giver. I will. Ya wanna know why?..Because I like money, I like needles, and I like putting others in pain and discomfort, just ask everyone I know....So what do ya say?...Am I hired?

Then on my walk last night I was chased by a flock of ,not seagulls...but Pelicans. They were coming at me with there big beaks open ready to scoop me in. Not sure if I smelled like fish, or if they had a running bet on who could carry the fat girl away..Once they got a closer look, all bets were off I guess, they all figured there they would sink to the bottom of the lake...I would be like a cement block tied to their flippers..It was a smart move on their part...

I went to the tanning salon today as the sun has been hiding under the clouds last few days. I think I may have burned my girls a bit... Then I went and got my hair cut. I come home and everyone says " I thought you were getting a hair cut."

It seems my hair cut was not notciable to these fools. I paid 20 bucks for a hair cut, the lady didnt wash my hair. In my whole life I have never NOT had my hair washed when I had a cut. Now I went to beauty school, I have been there...I know the whole routine of the hair cutting. You go to the wash bowl bowl, wash the hair, towel dry it, comb it, cut it..done in 15 minutes..

It took her half hour to cut my hair..without even washing it...So she was paid 20 bucks for half hours worth of work. I at least have to put in one hour 10 mintues for 20 bucks.....

So this is the brief synopsis of my day..

Got a call for a job and turned it down
Got a call that my second job doenst need me for any hours now
Kicked my self in the ass for not taking the needle job at the hosptial
Got my girls burned
Got hair cut and no one noticed..and i didnt get a proper wash...
Got chased by pelicans

so how was your day?

I dont really care, unless you can top mine, then I dont wanna hear it.

oh and I forgot to add, our pizza hut caught on fire the otther night...Now can YOU top that?

bee Real

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Empty Garden

Things have been super busy. Crap is happening I cant control, and I am tired out. I am going on my 7th day in a row working. I will get two off ,then on again for two more at least. If I can just get thru my shift at the jail tonight I will be ok, I hope.

I only wanted ONE part time job, to get out of the house and to have beer money. I will be damned if I haven't worked over 40 hours the last week. I don't have time for anything.

Dinner? Nope, Bossy has been fasting since my last day off which was hell if I remember. I cook for the inmates here at my hive, but I don't eat. I don't like eating before work. It has to do with potentailly getting the runs while out of my house. Sometimes after I eat my intestines want to get rid of stuff fast, so I have to run to the crapper and let it all squirt out. I prefer doing it at home. Call me retarded.

The way I feel you would think I am in my late 80's working a full time job and 4 part time ones. I am so tired . I am tempted to take a nap in an empty cell at work...And even be willing to be locked in.

I had to book an inmate last night who was a very annoying. I forget what he was charged with now, but he kept repeating the same crap over and over. I finally told him if I hear him ask that question one more time I was putting him in lock down..He asked again..

Damn, he was free to go, I couldn't lock him down..But I wanted to slap the crap out of him. I can not stand being asked the same thing more than say...50 times. The first 49 times I can handle it...After that, Bossy cracks.

I am watching Dr 90210. It is 12:50 am....I need to save up money for a boob job. I see them doing a boob job on here. I need one.

I want some lipo too. I have stated this before. If you want to donate for my makeover, let me know. Just a nip here and a tuck there, nothing to fancy. After three kids and a hellofa lot of nachos, and burgers, I need some lipo on the thighs. And hips. And butt. Lets not forget the back fat. You know the fat that sometimes hangs over your bra strap? Ok, maybe I am the only one who has that. I hang my head in shame. I need a bra that fits. I don't have one that fits right.

I want a butt lift. I have noticed on several occasions that my bum is kind of drooping below the point a bum should droop too. So I want a total lower body lift.

A nose job too. I always thought my nose was too big.

some permanent eyeliner....Ok never mind, I have never worn eyeliner in my life, why start now?

And I want some of that laser crap so I don't have to shave the pits or the legs ..Or the.......

delicate bikini area

I am swamped with so much nonsense and crap I am not sure if I will post again until at least Thursday.

I am getting all ready for my flight back home next week. I will be gone Thursday thru Sunday. I know, I know, you will miss me. Not to worry, before I leave I will again leave a list of crap I own that I am willing out to you in the event my plane is taken over by angry nuns, snakes ..Or heaven forbid ...Gorillas.

Or if the pilot is snockered and flies us into Lake Michigan..

Well I have some crap I need to deal with, then I am going to bed. Its 1am, and I am tired. I hope to God I don't dream about Lionel Richie tonight. Or that damn lizard in the Gico commercials. I had a dream one night I had him over for fish and chips and my cat ate him.

I wont even go into detail about my Lionel Richie dream. I will just say we were not dancing on the ceiling, or........running with the night..

Ok, now I am for sure gonna dream about him now...damnit..


bee real

Monday, August 07, 2006

When its time to change....

I am cranky. I am bloated. I am tired. And my son is going thru puberty. Please shoot me.

Not only am I PMSing, but my son is coming close to growing facial hair and carrying a wallet and a pocket knife. He is going to be 10 in March. My son is showing a sudden interest in watching my soap, and especially the ladies bearing their boobies and bums....How does this happen to tiny boys? He should be playing with trucks, chasing girls with worms and throwing baseballs. Instead at 12pm he tells me it is time for Days of Our Lives and grabs a beverage and a snack and plops his 9 year old Fanny on the sofa and props his feet on the coffee table and says " so, what's gonna happen today ya think?"

I tell you what's gonna happen, your gonna go down to the basement and watch cartoons. Go watch crappy cartoons your not allowed to watch. The more violent the better. Tom and jerry...Yup you can watch it...GO...NOW..

he heads down stairs, I sneak down to see what's going on. My son is on the sofa down there with his snack, and beverage, his feet proped up on the toy box and he is watching Days of Our Lives.

Although on the plus side, maybe he will learn how to romance a lady. Or how to kill someone and hide the body and evidence, or how to black mail using proper techniques.

Lord help me. My baby boy is going to be a man by weeks end. I better go buy him some razors and band-aides.

I worked with "lazy girl" at the crazy house Sunday. I purposely hid the remote on her. She found it. She watched old episodes of Love Connection. I said to her " um, you might want to think about looking at the menu to see if U have to get anything ready for dinner. I don't do dinner sweetie You do. I do breakfast and lunch. Its your job to make sure dinner is started and going by the time the next shift arrives.

She continued watching Love Connection. I went out on the deck and layed in the sun.

She watched about 3 hours of Game Show network. I hid the remote again.

She found it again.

I am thinking about taking the batteries out next time.

I hate lazy people.

Not only am I going to get rid of the bees watching TV, but I need to make sure lazy girl don't watch either.

I am putting in my papers for early retirement. Since I had my midlife crisis at 30, I know I will die at 60. So I only have 59 good years left, that is if I don't become senile and start pooing myself and need help eating food that resembles that of baby food.

I need to enjoy my golden years. I don't need to be bogged down with working. I need to golf, learn pinochle, shuffle board, croquet, and bingo.

These are things I will miss in my older years because I will be dead. I need to start enjoying them now.

retirement is the only option I have.

So if any moms of boys out there have any advice on how to handle a tween boy that gets a funny feeling in nether regions when he sees boys and girls kissing on TV, let me know. Do I need to keep the little tramp who kissed him last summer away from him now? Do I lock him in his room? What do I do? Boarding school?..I dunno. Someone let me know..mmaky?

But I can tell you for sure I am getting rid of all my Ladies Home Journals, Cosmo, and Readers Digest. You can never be too careful.

Bee Real

Friday, August 04, 2006

I fought the law and the law won

So its early Friday morning and I am just coming home from a hard day at the office. No new bookings tonight, the night was pretty slow. But it has made me think of a new ode..This one is entitled

Ode to the hootchie momma and drug lords,

To you, the criminals that make your graces thru our correctional facility, I want to extend out a heartfelt thanks. Thanks for what you may be asking...Well, thank you for the good times. You don't know how much I get a kick out of watching you do push ups and walk wall to wall for 12 hours. I know you are getting pumped up so you can meet your soul mate after you get out, because yes I know there is someone out there waiting for you..Why, I am not sure..But she is.

And when you whistle everytime we females go down the hallway, makes our hearts go pitter patter...I mean not the good kind, more like a potenailly deadly arythmia.

And when we do your nighttime lock down and you tell the gentleman officer you want me, good ole Bossy to lock you down, well it makes me feel oh so special.

makes me want to vomit what contents I have in my stomach and to change my name and address so I can not be tracked should some loop hole in our judicial system let your freaky ass out.

Now on the the hootchie momma portion of the ode.

It makes my feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I hear you all say when I leave the room "stupid bitch"

ladies, I have been called worse things, on here...Come now..

That is pure baby talk.

And no, I will not pass love notes between you and the convict down the hall, I don't care if she is your do know that is not legal right?..Two chicks cant be married...Especially when the one is already married to a man....Just thought I would tell you...SHE IS NOT YOUR WIFE....Ok lil Missy?

I love how you people just go commit crimes and then expect treatment you would receive at the Hilton Hotel. Or hell even motel 6...Your in jail piss ants. No you can not put in a request for a pizza to be delivered, No you don't get a fresh blankie everyday or fresh undies...Sorry..If you want fresh linens and under garments everyday, stay the hell out of jail..

No I will not find a priest or clergy member to marry you.....

No I wont join you and your honey in a threesome after "you gets outta here"

And last, but certainly not least...I will not give you a fresh roll of TP until you give me your old roll...You can not stock up on TP fellas....I don't care if your crap is running down your leg and your standing in your own urine..It wont happen...YOU KNOW THE RULES BOYS...After all, its your third time here sweetie..

So this is crap I deal with.

some of these people I am not sure why we even bother to let out. Because less then 48 hours later they are back...We barely get their stench out of the cells and they are back to re-stink it.

It hard out here for a pimp...Or so I have been told.

Like I said..Mind all traffic laws, don't take a knife to anyone's throat, don't have a meth lab in your basement, and don't free base in front of the court house..

These are free tips to you from me...I really need to make a handout and give it to everyone.

Well tonight I am taking my bees to the county fair. I will end up getting a head ache from going on rides I should not, I will get heart burn from eating stuff I should not, and we will bring home prizes from stupid games we should not of played....But hell, you cant pass up the chance to win a goldfish for a mear dollar, now can you?

Bee Real

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Momma said there would be days like this

So last night I had to work with the inmates. Which is so very entertaining in a Hannibal Letctor sorts way.

We had one booking while I was there. This big burly man was picked up for pissing in the road. He had a warrant in a neighboring county so we had to book him. His bail was 300 bucks, not bad, but he then got mad because we don't take credit cards.

hello dip wad, this aint the local 5 and dime...We are not accepting your credit card for bail....If you wanna use your credit card, may I suggest you piddling in a proper receptacle and maybe go purchase a coca cola at the soda pop shop.

So that kept me busy much of the night, dealing with this jerk off. He has no job, is 30 years old, and brags about being on state assistance.

again dip wad, if your trying to impress the ladies...GET A JOB AND KEEP YOUR PETER IN YOUR PANTS TO TAKE A WEE-WEE.mmkay?

But after this all went down I had time to kill so we were reading the mail the inmates wanted to send out.

we have to go thru it to make sure there is no monkey business going down.

This is, and I kid you not..excerpts from an actual letter from a female inmate to someone outside of the jail

yo biotch, wus up?

I got da str8 dope on dem bitches. Dae arite. My cousin had a baby, but me gots to figga out who da babys dady is. imusta fo-got to fin out.

so u not sho wen I gets out. No body seem 2 know nuttin bout dat.

hows my babies? telll dem momma comin hom soon.

Yes, this is the actual wording of this womens letter. Its hard to de-code the lingo of these crazy criminals.

My advice to you, stay in school, keep your nose..and any other orifice clean, stop at all stop signs, don't piddle in the road, and always know who your babys daddy is.

Word to your mutha, peace out

Bee Real

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I hate everything about YOU

Dear Walmart,
I am not what you would call a valued customer of any kind. IN fact, I find your business practice quite cave man like. You have no common respect for all the mom and pop shops that help small communities and where folks make an honest living running their own bushiness. Why don't you care? I will tell you why, because your heart is full of greed and you honestly only give a crap about making a buck for you. You sell crap made cheaply in Japan where people work their asses off to make 50 cents a day. Then you "pass along your saving to us"

But this is not what I am pissed off about today. Out of pure desperation I had to go to one of your stores the other day. I needed to buy some paint for my kids room. I wanted to paint her room pink, because she wants it that way damn it.

So after my darling husband got home from a hard day..(ok that part is a lie, he was in a cool controlled temp environment while I was sweating my boobys off)..anyhoo, all our hardware slash paint stores were closed..

ok, another reason why this town sucks, you can not go to any stores past 5 pm..Your light bulb burns out at 5:30..Your crap ouuta luck and have to eat dinner by candle light...You out of candles?..Yup your screwed.

So we went to Wallmart. I head over to the paint section, pick out my color, and wait. Not ONE of your wonderful employees came over. And there was no customer service button to push. Why? You suck.

So hubby went over to another dept and had them paige over the store.."hello employees of walmart some asswipe needs help in the paint..."

We wait a another good 10 minutes. Finally I tell my hubby I need to go walk around because if I am there when an employee finally shows up, there will be abrawl, and I know how this embarrasses him..So I was avoiding it.

I walk around your crappy store with bad lighting, smelly people and cheap crap.

I walk for 20 minutes, feeling way OVER dressed the entire time. Who knew that wearing short blue jean shorts and a cute tank top would make me feel not trampy, but rather OVER dressed. I just looked like I had come from a business meeting compared to the jokers I see in there. Really, you need a dress code for your shoppers. I can only take so much of viewing humans in stained shirts, ripped pants and crumbs in their beards and greasy un kept hair. And that is both male and female, yes ladies with beards do shop at walmart... I guess they feel like they fit in. Good for them I say, its good to have a place where we all feel we belong.

So I finish my walk thru and tell myself I need to shower when I get home to get the stench of Walmart off my person. I think one of them hoodlulms rubbed against me..EWWW..

I get back to the paint counter. NO EMPLOYEE THERE...My hubby is standing there looking all patient. He tells me not ONE person who works there had walked by.

I told him to leave the cart full of crap he thought he was buying because we were leaving. And on my way out I would let one of your oh so helpful workers know how much they suck.

I walk to the front where for sure I should SOMEONE who works here.

I find a young lady, she had some weird crap stuck in her braces..Really tell your employees to brush their teeth..Thank you.

I ask her if anyone is working in the paint dept today or if it was closed on Mondays because it was paiged over the intercom TWICE that I needed help getting pink paint for my kids room..

She tell me.."Gosh I don't know.."

I tell her I had been waiting for over a half hour for some shmuck to come over and mix some paint for me.

" gosh I just don't know"

So I then tell her.." Yes, noone at Walmart ever knows anything."

I just wonder what kind of place you run. You have no costumer service, your employees don't know shit and your store stinks.

Why do people shop there?

How do you keep going?

Is Satan running Walmart? I do believe he is. I bet if I busted thru the employee lounge door your red rear end would be sitting in the break room with your hooves up on the table sipping blood from puppies.

Walmart, not only do the lowest of low shop there, but they also work there.

I have decided to mix red food coloring in a gallon of milk to paint my kids room...But thank you anyway..

Let this be a friendly warning..I am on to you. I know I have my issues with Target, but hell, the store is clean, the employees cant take pee breaks, but hell they look nice and are helpful.

And there crap isn't cheap looking, that's why people can not afford to shop there, and if they sold paint, I would not have been at your establishment. I am a Target girl.

And they where walkies so that if a patron has a question, someone can help them, and there are buttons all over the store in case u need help.

Its called Customer Service.

Look it up.


I have an ode to McDonald's too today.

when I stop by and order a grilled chicken sandwich and large diet coke, and I get home and have crispy chicken and regular coke, it pisses me off.

Now if I ask for no tomato but get a slice, that is an easy fix for me.

But I cant take the crispy off the chicken nor the fact it had just been sitting in a pot of hot boiling grease.

And I can not magically take the sugar and calories out of the regular soda.

What the hell are you doing? Trying to kill me?

Let this be a warning for you...I will get my grilled chicken elsewhere along with my diet soda.

I know your worried. I did not eat lunch today thanks to you...And wasted money that I could of bought some lotto tickets with.

Bee Real

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Turn me loose

It seems the great folks in law enforcement are attracted to us. Seems Mr Shaky was pulled over on the way to work yesterday. wanna know why? No he doesn't fit the profile of a drug seller nor a child killer....But the butt wad had ribbons hanging in his rear view mirror. At 6 am a cop had nothing better to do then pull over his car. I guess there were no high speed chases or wife beaters to be tracked down.

Then the dumb ass didn't have his recent insurance card in the car. AND the officer said his MN license was not valid because his name was spelled wrong in their system. It is spelled right on his license, just not in their system.

So how the hell is that his problem? This goes back to my whole theory of Minnesota being run by retards and butt wipes. Not only can you only get a license here one day a week and only open for one hour, but you also need to hack into the system to make sure your name is spelled right.

I don't know how this state gets by. It needs a hand to be held while crossing the road, and it needs a diapy change every few hours. If not the state would crap its pants on all of us.

Then my town has issues. There are several intersections near my home and else where in the city, with no stop signs. Its like you have free reign to ram eachother in the ass. No yield sign, no stop sign?..Ok ...

I frequent these intersections for the simple reason I am hoping to get hit..For 2 reasons...

1. So I can sue this city and state for all its got..which is not much considering the peons running the damn circus side show

B. So I can get a new van..My 2003 Dodge Caravan is 3 years old and she is ready for adoption.

I work for the state, not only that, but I also work for the county. Am I a dumb ass? Sure. Am I slightly retarded? You bet. Do I know that you need to be open more than one day a week for an hour in order for folks to get a valid drivers license? I do..DO I know that you need stop signs at every intersection..Darn tootin I do.

I have been in this state so long I started drooling. My brain cells are depleting slowly. I really should run for Governor. But that would be a 4 year commitment to living here. I just rather leave, and let the retards fend for themselves.I don't have that kind of time and I hate doing paper work.

Do you want to know just how much the dumbness of this state has rubbed off on me? My little Boo bee fell asleep on the couch, so I layed her sweet fat butt in her crib. Then I came out here and continued to finish watching Blues Clues.

My 9 year old Butch Bee walks in and says " ahh, mom what ya doin?"

I look at him, look at the TV..

And I have no answer.

In his eyes I was the dumbest thing he had seen all day. His 31 year old mother caught in the grips of Joe and Blue.

I tried explaining my way out of it. I tried telling him it was one I had not seen and I wanted to see how it ended.

He then says to me

" um, mother, they all end the same, they find the clues."

yes son, you are right. Thank you for sparing me from the evil that is Joe and Blue..Please don't breath a word of this to your friends or your father..GOT IT.

I can not have his friends thinking I spend the day watching baby shows . I may be old, I may sport a nose ring and 20 extra pounds, but damn it I like me a good show once ina while..So sue me.

And getting rid of the TV is something I am still pondering. I would really get more done around here if I did not watch shows with the kids. I call it bonding time.

So what if I like kids shows? So what if I have been in love with the Blue Wiggle for 3 years now. blue wiggle, its me bossy, I don't mind that you have gray hair, side burns and extra white teeth that blind my eyes..I still love you....Do u love me too?...Ok this is getting weird.


remember Ugly kid? The one that craps in the yard along with the rest of the neighborhood. Last week Butch said he was moving to Duluth. Why did he think he was moving you ask? They were having a yard sale.

And Ugly Kid told him so. Ugly kid lies. He has been knocking at my door wanting to play everyday. I was hoping he would be gone.

Yet he lingers on like a a yeast infection.

Bee Real

Tommorw look for my Ode to Walmart....I am done pissed right off...