Monday, February 06, 2006

No mittens for you

I have a tale to tell. I must warn you that there may be some dirty situations...Maybe even what I may call gross..

Getting on with things, Old Mother Hen and I went out shopping Sunday afternoon after church. We went to our normal stomping ground of Applebees. I got what I usually get..And every food I name off to you, is what I eat....I mean I lick my plate clean, kinda like an Eathopian would do with a bowl of cat food..

I get the three course combo.now for a limited time only..I get steak, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, garlic toast,shrimp, and artichoke and spinach dip with chips.....Then for dessert it is white raspberry cheesecake or something...And I eat it ALL....I always order my steak well done, as I do not want t get worms...But last time I got well done it was a bit charred for my taste. So this time I got medium well.

I cut into my steak and I see blood dripping out. I tell my mother:"great, I am gonna get worms now, I hope your happy"
Half way thru the meal I start to feel rumblings in my tum tum. But I proceed to feast on the animal flesh...

After we eat we got to Target..I love me some Target....The husband calls me while I am shopping and tells me that Meg Ryan spawn needs a new pair of mittens...Ok, no problem I say..

This is where it all goes down hill...I all of a sudden get the feeling, ya no the feeling that If you were to sit on a toilet nothing put pure liquid would come spouting from the nether regions..But I hold it, cuz I am in target for God's sake, and I can not use a public restroom.

So this feeling has me cranky. I go to find mittens.....I see no mittens, so I kindly ask for help..

" Excuse me, I cant seem to find the mittens, I need some child mittens if you will"

" Oh, sorry mam, all of our mittens went to salvage the other day."

"um, its Febuary, in MN, and I can not get mittens."

" sorry mam"

" Ok, your telling me in the throws of winter in the coldest state in the USA, I can not buy my daughter mittens, I can get her a bathing suit, I see plenty of them, but I cant get her a new pair of mittens?"

" we have no more mittens, sorry"

" so wait....Its febaury, my daughter needs a new pair of mittens, and you don't sell mittens in February?, but I can get her a swim suit?"

"mam, I am really sorry, but yes this would be the case"

" ok, so I guess I will have to buy a few swim suits and tape them to my daughters tiny, numb hands"


why oh why in the Midwest where summer doesn't start till July, do the stores stop selling mittens in Feb? Can anyone tell me what the hell I am going to need a swim suit in Febaury for in Minnesota?..Anyone, anyone?

didn't think so

Toodles

if you missed the sleep over pics they are on the last post....ummkay?

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG do I know that feeling! I hope you're feeling better.

I feel ya on the mittens/swimsuits IN WINTER!! We had swimsuits out here in January, yet not a winter coat to be found. What the heck? But, in the summer, buy all the winter coats, mittens, snow suits, and hats you want!
Ya, I understand that logic. (read the sacarism)

eyes_only4him said...

lawbrat,
isnt that just so dang ridicouls..like what the heck do we need shorts and swimsuits in the dead of winter, I am going to write a strongly worded letter to target i tell you what;)

pack of 2 said...

So did you end up crapping in the car or what? Where is the end of that story...LOL!

Shelly

eyes_only4him said...

shelly,
well I was able to hold er till i got home, but by th time I got home, I just had to pee..go figure..

lesson learned..always have you meat cooked throughly..

Anonymous said...

Man, it's like the retail stores are trying to teach us a lesson . . . "Don't lose your mittens or get any holes in them. Because come February, there will be no more!" :)

keesh said...

Maybe for a hotel stay? Pretty dumb you are right. You change your picture more than Madonna changes her clothes, HA! :)...someone once said that to me on my blog. Anyway, I love Applebees and Target too!! Cool dogs...good grub. I like medium done meat...I have been eating it that way since I was a child and nada once did I get any worms...Peace out girl

momma of 2 said...

Oh Wallyworld is the same way - can't buy boots, snowpants or anything else wintery...

B-day picture below are great!

eyes_only4him said...

Kish,
haha, but she aint going to a motel..i dont think anyway;)
mark my words, you will get worms eventaully..teehee

momma,
isnt that so stupid? we need to bad toghter and change this retail market;)

eyes_only4him said...

opps, I fogot marel,
well the lesson they taught me was move to hawaii:)

Kendra Lynn said...

I absolutely hate it when you can't find winter clothing in the WINTER! LOL
Sorry about your Target experience...that stinks. :)
Thanks for your comment on my site, by the way. :)

Jamie Dawn said...

I hope you don't have the squirts. No fun at all.

It's crazy! They put out stuff so early so that you can't get what you need in the season you're in.
I always have to stock up on my brand of sunscreen, or else I can never get it once summer has passed.
Swimsuits in Feb??? It's nuts!

eyes_only4him said...

kendra,
i think its nuts...what kid doenst lose one of each pai of gloves they ow? but my daughter is outside sledding so much, her nice thick mittens have acctually worn down...poor little girl..no mittnes for her..

jamie,
i know..i can see if i lived in southern cal, or in arizona not having mittens. but give me a break people..:) hope you suregry went well..i am off to check you out right now.

Karin said...

well since it was over 89 degrees here today swimsuits would be way more usefull then mittens. We have the opposite problem and can't buy swimsuits in July but we can buy mittens then. When in Southern California do we ever need mittens? I also totally know what you mean about the stomach thing it happens to me sometimes while at the grocery store. I practicly run through getting my shopping done. Feel better.

mal said...

mmmm, because the merchandisers are idiots? they are so busy beating each other to market that they bail out seasonal stuff before its time. It is the same logic that gets Xmas stuff showing up at Halloween

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hope that yucky feeling in the tum went away, without any endless loo-sitting !!!
The stores are stupid, starting to sell summer stuff in the middle of winter. Weird.
Take care, stay warm, Meow

eyes_only4him said...

karin,
well yesterday the high was like 15 degrees and today wull be about the same, so swimsuits here really arent needed..just yet anyway..haha

mallory,
idiots, dare I agree with you?...i saw chirstmas stuff out this past year in septemeber..i just dont get it..idiots indeed..

eyes_only4him said...

meow,
yup, it only lasted about 15 minutes then the feeling was gone..thank goodness..hahah..stupid indeed, good thing none of need a new coat or we would be SOL:)

sam,
well they always sell pool stuff at target, even in the winter, I see it all the damn time..that and googels and nose clips...do i see a shovel?..rarely..makes no sence..

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

I had the same prob last weekend when we went to Applebee's (I had gotten the steak skewers). I actually sent them back 3x's (I'm a witch) and they still were bleeding. Grossed me out! I hope you feel better!

We've had the swimsuits and shorts out here since the day after Christmas and January/February is when we usually get our cold weather. Go figure!

Anne Coleman said...

Um, you need a swimsuit in February in Minn. because...you're going on vacation to...Bermuda! Yeah...that's it. ???

Dottie said...

The retail world is insane. I saw Christmas in September, too. You can't enjoy one holiday b/c another one is already being pushed down your throat everywhere you turn.

Need me to send you some mittens from MO? I think we still have some! :)

Anonymous said...

they should stop streamlining all their stock, and take into consideration the differing climates of the states their stores are in. Its called corporate retardation. people with college degree's who get paid a lot of money, to send swimsuits to alaska in december. yup. theyre idiots.

you forgot to tell us how everything came out?

eyes_only4him said...

denise,
steak scewrrs, i need to try that..fully cooked of course..well at least in florida you can get away with that..haha

anna,
well if its gets colder than -54 i dont even wanna know..LMAO

Anne,
gosh dont i wish...


dottie,
yes three pair of mittnes ..pink, purple and blue please..hahah


suzie,
amen sista...its pure craziness i tell ya...

um, it all came out ok, it passed by the time i got home:)

Cliff said...

You will be able to buy mittens in April, 50% off.
This stuff is crap.

pack of 2 said...

I've always thought it was a load of crap the way they bring the new seasons stuff in early.... same thing with holidays.

Angie

Choppzs said...

It is the same way here. I mean it's not the coldest state ever, but it is still Feb. and it is cold, but do you think anyone sells mittens anymore? Nope same problem here. You can get the swimsuits and capris and shorts, but you cannot find a fall jacket, mittens or anything remotely warm. Rediculous. And who the hell buys a swimsuit in Feb??? Come on, it's stupid!!! I feel for you. Oh and that steak sounds yummy!! lol I prefer medium myself with a side of worms!! lol

Rowan Dawn said...

We have the same problem in montana. i missed getting my baby a coat- you know small sizes go so fast anyway, and they never restocked! Since the weather here shifts from mild to severe according to its whim, and not kmarts schedule, I missed out. I am not up on things, I don't buy them just because I may need it later! Spring jackets are on sale though. So I put one on layaway a size bigger. Not for the future or anything, but because I just can't afford it right now, lol!

eyes_only4him said...

cliff,
well in april I was planning on getting my bikini..cousre by then they will be selling fall clothes, maybe i better get while the gettins good..;)

Angie,
it is a load of crap..what the hell is wrong with these people anyway? I saw Easter stuff the other day...easter isnt till April..damn I am gonna slap someone..

coolchic,
luckliy it passed...my worms must like thier new home;)


choppz,
even in good ole california they do that to you huh?...so stupid..
ha ha you like worms;)


dawn marie,
oh dont get me going on that..In Novemeber I went to buy my Toddler spawn a new coat..At Sears they were already putting them on discount..I only found 2 in her size..a blue boys coat and her purple one I bought..why do all the small ones go so fast?

Oh and Taget had mittnes, they were baby mittens, about 6 pair or small bity baby mittens...Ugg

Robin said...

Yikes, I hope your tummy's better! Been there, done that!!

At least they sell mittens in your stores! Yes, I know I am in Florida, but it does get cold enough here to warrant a pair of mittens for my kids' hands! I have to buy them online if I want them at all.

eyes_only4him said...

robin,
its all better, it did not last long thank goodness;)


I guess I will have to by double and send you some myslef..thats a shame you have to order online..I remeber vivting florida in jan one year..I froze my rump off..I had packed only shotrs and tank tops..course i was only 7 and my mom let me pack my own bag..hahah
*****

hey people, I am thinking of changing my template..any ideas?

Peanutt said...

I think the swimsuit companies are in cahoots with the fitness companies..so we see those tiny things in Feb. and want to sign up to get fit to be able to wear those bikinis. Yes, a conspiracy I tell ya!

Krystal said...

You know, we have a similar problem in S. Florida. We need flip flops and bathing suits and tank tops, but come August the stores have heavy winter coats for those three chilly nights in the high sixties we might have.

And snow boots.

WTF in S. Florida needs SNOW BOOTS? 'Tis a mystery...

eyes_only4him said...

peanut,
you may be on to something there;)

Kristen
it would be a cold day in hell before florida saw the kinda snow we get..heehee

Cori said...

With my luck I would get no mittens and I would have had Mt rushmore on the public toilets! Glad you could hold it in.

Unknown said...

You live in MN? I used to live there..for a year in Bible College. I am north of you now...in Canada.

I had to buy my son mittens today and they were the last pair in Walmart.... well there were a few pairs of gloves left, but we prefer mittens when you're a 7 year old boy. I agree with you, it is ridiculous.

So what happened with the tummy? *snort*

I love me a good medium rare steak.

eyes_only4him said...

cori,
you have me laghing at the Mt Rushmore bit...you funny girl you:)

Mrs Diamond,
yup I live in MN,I know you woudt think that by lookin at my blog with the ocean and stuff..

no mittens for you either..yes I love mittens..my girls where mittens my almsot 9 year so has to wear gloves becuase mittnes are for babies..haha....so says he;)